Bless the Timber, Sister!

“Tonight… a refined performance! A song to the Fairest Elven Maid, Leandra!” “Oh Leandra fair with raven hair ” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! “ALRIGHT! Hard crowd! Fine then!” “Bless the timber, Sister, ring the temple bell! One hand on the scripture, one where it shouldn’t dwell! The forests keep on falling, the miners moan below, And Griene counts the silver while the goodfolk never know!” Down from the north came a holy young maid, Sword at her hip and her taxes unpaid, “Haelyn preserve us!” the villagers cried— Till Griene rode in and stood close by her side! “Bless the timber, Sister, ring the temple bell! One hand on the scripture, one where it shouldn’t dwell! The forests keep on falling, the miners moan below, And Griene counts the silver while the goodfolk never know!” They said she was pure as the first winter snow, Yet somehow the priest knew exactly where to go, He “guided” her nightly through matters divine— Past the wine cellar door and down into the mine! “Bless the timber, Sister, swing the axe with grace! Every log falls faster when the priest keeps up the pace! The chapel candles flicker, the sawdust starts to rise, And Talinie grows richer while the Sister shuts her eyes!” “DEEPER MINES!” “DEEPER MINES!” The lumbermen groaned that the oak stood too tall, The miners complained that the shaft looked too small, But Griene just smiled with a saintly little cough— And somehow by morning the whole thing was off! “Bless the timber, Sister, hear the hammers ring! Every hardworking woodsman serves the realm and king! The foremen sweat like sinners, the workers bend below, And Griene blesses every inch wherever timber grows!” Now the goblins all laugh when Talinie rides by, With sermons so holy and taxes so high, For every good prayer that the Sister declares— The priest takes confession halfway up the stairs! “Bless the timber, Sister, ring the temple bell! One hand on the scripture, one where it shouldn’t dwell! The forests keep on falling, the miners moan below, And Griene counts the silver while the goodfolk never know!” “THE GOODFOLK NEVER KNOW!”